Set Boundaries, Find Peace- Book Review
Name of Book: Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself
Author: Nedra Glover Tawwab
Age Rating: 15+
Trigger Warnings: childhood abuse and neglect, addiction, sexual assault, responses to oppression and discrimination, domestic or interpersonal violence
Who this Book is Good for: anyone and everyone, but especially victims of childhood abuse or trauma
Image Via: www.nedratawwab.com
Why We Love This Book:
Set Boundaries, Find Peace discusses personal, professional, and social boundaries from a multitude of perspectives and angles. It encourages you to re-evaluate where you expend your energy and assess how well you are able to recharge and maintain balance within your life. The book mentions six types of boundaries: physical, sexual, intellectual, emotional, material, and time boundaries. Tawwab goes on to explain each type of boundary, what a violation of that boundary can look like, and how to go about creating and communicating boundaries. She also references the ways in which these boundaries can be helpful in many areas of life, including with family, friends, work, romantic relationships, social media, and especially in one’s relationship with self.
This book not only educates readers on what boundaries are, but also how to apply this information to your life and address common issues or pushback to boundaries. Tawwab effectively captures the topic of boundaries from a realistic and relatable perspective and empowers readers to take control of their lives through boundary setting.
Why it Stands Out:
This book stands out because it speaks to a wide audience and can apply to anyone, regardless of identity, gender, cultural background, or age.
Tawwab brings up the important point that we need to teach children early on how to set boundaries. Traditionally, children have been subject to instruction and obedience from parental figures, but this book challenges that structure by redistributing power and autonomy to young people.
Tawwab also discusses the intersection between trauma and boundaries, explaining that adults who have experienced childhood abuse or neglect are more subject to the instinct of helping or “saving” everyone they can. Survivors of abuse are also more vulnerable to enmeshed relationships and blurred boundaries, which makes this book a suitable and relevant read for individuals who have experienced abuse.
Highlights:
Not upholding boundaries can lead to anxiety, depression, overwhelm, body tensions, resentment, and unhealthy relationships.
Setting boundaries begins with self-awareness and the ability to identify your capacity.
Guilt is sometimes a part of the process of creating and enforcing boundaries.
Honoring and executing the boundaries you set is a vital step in the process.
Boundaries are not common sense, but they are taught and require practice.
Setting boundaries within your family allows you to reparent your inner child and practice autonomy where it may not feel familiar or acceptable.
Many people fear that boundaries will ruin relationships, but boundaries can actually cultivate and nourish healthy relationships while eliminating unhealthy ones.
If you would like to purchase or read more about this book, you can check out Nedra Glover Tawwab’s website here.
If you feel as though you could use some extra support setting boundaries, feel free to reach out and schedule a complimentary consultation with one of our providers here.